This morning I woke up contemplating building a house again, and selling our place….I set out the pros and cons, and pondered all day long. After a busy day at work, and thinking about the unlimited options, I tackled and enjoyed a 5 km run with Chloe and Chase, and it felt wonderful.

I had a great play with Chloe, made supper with Paul, and pretty much considered this day done…and then just when you think you can pack it in for the night, a bomb is dropped.

It sounds to me like my aunt, only 52 years old, who has been fighting f-ing cancer for the last 4 years is running out of options and time. Although every day has been a blessing since her first being diagnosed (and considered terminal), I’m hoping for a miracle, an absolute miracle. I’m exhausted and drained about hearing of the doctor updates, treatments, options, scans, chemo, the list is endless; I can only imagine how she is feeling; never mind the damage that the chemo has done already, why her, seriously, why her?

Tonight is one of the first nights I’ve actually taken my thoughts to what it would be like with out her. Monday night Bingo would never be the same, “Geiler Girl” nights would be missing their leading lady, and I can’t even fathom the idea of Christmas. Her laughter, her jokes, and her smiling eyes would be missed by everyone, I repeat everyone. Everyone that has ever met her, can’t say a bad thing about her, she is just that like-able. She finally had a chance to check her e-mails the other day, and she had responded to my pictures of Chloe that I had sent, within her e-mail after telling me how adorable my little girl is, she writes “I’m so happy and lucky you’re my niece”. I have read the e-mail a dozen times, and I still get goose bumps.

Cross your fingers…..and send good luck.