Roll of the dice…..
When Paul and I got together, we had all of the pre-wedding discussions, kids, money, house, dreams, etc. One thing we settled on was to have 2 kids after we got married. Luckily our little miss muffet came immediately after we were married, no problems getting pregnant, ha ha! However after realizing how much “work” being a mom actually is (don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom), I thought I had changed my mind on just having one child. Paul on the other hand, still really, really wants 2 kids.
The last 4 years Paul has been on call, working a ton of overtime, and working a very unpredictable schedule, which I think has a lot to do with my mind set of one child only. Since I work mon-fri, it’s me doing the daycare drop off’s and pick up’s, every day, which can be up 30-40 times a month. And since I am done work at 4:00, it’s me being at home with chase and Chloe alone, until Paul get’s home, when he is working. Once again, don’t get me wrong I love doing this, but not alone, you know??? I am working full time, and loving it, I love earning my own money, and I also love that Chloe goes to day care…maybe not 5 days a week, but now that Paul is working a different schedule, Chloe will only have to go 3-4 times a week. I also take pride in keeping a clean and tidy home, playing and teaching Chloe, cooking, and let’s not forget the 100 pound lab (my first child), that Chloe and I walk daily. Our mon-fri schedule goes something like this. I get up at 6:30, shower, get ready for work. I wake up Chloe at 7:00, get her ready and we leave the house by 7:10, so I can have her at day care by 7:15, so that I can get to work by 7:30. I then work 8 hours, until 4:00. Immediately after work I pick up Chloe from day care, then we head home to change and walk or run Chase. By 5:30 we’re done our fresh air walk/run, and we come home to play/make supper. Then we tidy up after supper, clean up the toys, and get ready for a bath. After bath we have books, a cup of milk, give Chase a treat, and my little girl is in bed by 7:30. As you can see, this tight schedule (which I love) barely leaves time for a pee! Oh yeah, repeat this 5 times a week. Now, I can’t even in vision myself juggling this schedule with 2 kids….
But on the other note, Paul’s new schedule of 4 on, 4 off, will allow him to help and hang out with us much more. It will also allow him to stay home with Chloe here and there during the week, which will take a load off me from all of the drop off’s, pick up’s, and getting ready for day care, not to mention me not having to wake up Chloe in the morning.
And on a side note, Paul is nothing but a fantastic husband, and loving father…it’s just his schedule that drives me nuts (but this is not his fault, and we knew it would be like this for our life together).
And on another note, if we were to have another child (relatively soon), I would have a full year off with Chloe, and “baby”, this time frame would come in handy since Chloe will then be able to attend pre-school and play groups, and I’d be available to take her (for those of you who don’t have kids, the nursery school and pre-school classes have weird times like 9:00 – 11:30, or 1:00-3:00, which would be difficult to juggle if your working). Also, having a baby relatively soon, would also get us away from having to pay for 2 full time spots at day care (approx 800 a month). After my mat leave, Chloe would be in kindergarten, so we would just have the new baby in daycare and have to find something for Chloe on the odd half day here and there (we have lots of help with family and friends, so I am not to concerned with this).
And on another note, Paul, Chloe and I are very healthy. We are financially stable, and have the life most would dream of. We’re happy. I’m worried if we “shoot” for another baby, would we be pressing our luck? What would happen if there was something wrong with the baby? How will Chloe handle it? Can Paul and I work together and make a family of 4 as successful as our family of 3? I love Chloe and Paul with all my heart, do I have any more love to give?
OR since we’re so happy, healthy and have successfully “mastered” (so far, ha ha) our marriage, balancing our lives, and parenting, do we have another one?
But what if we have twins? (NO COMMENT)!
And more on the “cons”, I hated breast feeding, which I did for 10 weeks, I don’t really feel like gaining 25 pounds, I also don’t feel like puking for 3 months straight, and let’s not forget pushing a watermelon through a hole the size of a peanut!!!! But these are all things I may now be willing to conquer again…..i can’t believe I/we’re thinking about this.
Your thoughts, comments? Do we gamble and go for one more baby and have the “perfect” family of 4; or do we consider ourselves lucky and stick with the “perfect” family of 3that we are.